| might be a surprise, but... |
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| 04:56pm 21/10/2009 |
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mood: hrm. music: NCIS in the background
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I'm most likely moving to South Korea. To teach English.
may be a surprise, but I've been researching/investigating/thinking/praying on it for quite awhile...a couple of months, actually. I would be gone at leats one year, maybe 2, maybe forever, lol. We'll wait and see how much I enjoy it, you know? I can go and make some money, which seems pretty elusive to me these days. Also, I can pay off some debt [school loans] and save some money. and maybe use it towards grad school. Augh, who knows.
If were friends on some other networking site, please don't mention this on there. I'm kind of keeping stuff under tabs until I make any hard-core decisions, except for a few select people [family, roomies, a friend in Korea]....so I like to keep big stuff under wraps until I'm pretty sure it's for sure, you know, a sort of superstitious-ness type deal.
I'm in TX right now, San Antonio to be more specific, and we saw the Alamo and the Riverwalk, which was really fun. Except for my broken toe, which made all the walking a bit painful. And my friend who lives here rec'd a restaurant for us, and man, WORST Mexican food of my life, I'm still a bit nauseated, and he used to live in San Diego, so I didn't expect such a horrible meal. We [me and my folks and the puppy-dog] have been through AZ, NM, and now Texas. this is the first stop where we actually went and did stuff. Tomorrow it's on to Houston to see my friends Jazzy and Krystin =] Should be good times, I'll be there 2 days. Haven't seen Jazzy in years [!] and Krystin is a buddy I met in London, and is teh awesome. =] Then on to LA to see my mom's best friend, whom she actually introduced to her husband of like 30 years. Then...New Orleans, I think, then back, with a stop in OK City to see my [ex]step mom, and who knows what else. =] Then back to CA to take my EWP to graduate Uni, and start applying to recruiting agencies in Korea. Then hopefully out of here by early January.
So...update completed. I'm sure I'll be on here soon, with other news and stuff. =] |
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| so, I did it. |
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| 12:53am 29/09/2009 |
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mood: nervous-excited-eeh! music: none, gonna sleep me thinks...
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I sent off my app to London Film School. I wrote my first ever personal statement, and wrote a script for a music video, along with storyboard [oh how I loathe making storyboards], an dI have to go online and pay, and I guess email admissions to tell them where my "portfolio" [or rather the few bits of shorts I have made] are posted. where should I post them? hmm.....will figure it out, I suppose just youtube.
I'm excited. I'm nervous. They may not accept me, but I am praying like nobody's business that they do. I am also applying to Westminster, and maybe Napier for screenwriting, but those are due a bit later. I just hope one of them accepts me, as this may be my only recourse. I have no idea what to do, as I cannot get a job, or even an interview to be honest, and I just...feel a bit lost.
I would LOVE to get my masters. I would love it. I would love the opportunity to be able to make my voice heard, via film. I would love to go back to London, to be in the UK, to be in Europe. I just want to be there and experience it again, only more fully, and to be given the opportunity to possibly work in a non-Hollywood movie system. =]
So.....any prayer, good thoughts or excellent chi sent my way would be UBER appreciated =] thanks muchly, kids =] |
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| Sleep study |
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| 10:52pm 16/09/2009 |
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So I'm supposed to be sleeping, but who can sllep with wires everywhere? My injury at Disney nearly 3 years ago now and the subsequent lawsuit of sorts (damn me for standing up for myself!) has now resulted in my having to submit to a sleep study. But they call me in here at 8 pm and I don't sleep until at LEAST midnight these days, ANC last night not till after 4am. So... I watch "some like it hot" and play on my phone (like updating LJ) until I am released at 4. Ugh oh and I'm going to try and attach a photo of my new cyborg bot look for your enjoyment. ( Read more... ) That's all for now kids, see you on the flip side. Posted via LiveJournal.app. |
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| *ahem* |
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| 07:29am 16/07/2009 |
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mood: ever hopeful music: uhm, soon to be sytycd, dvr'd style
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Could I please get some applause for miss *princesstrek! She may have got me an in to get a job, oh, how I hope upon hope that's true!!!
I have spent countless hours online searching for jobs around the WORLD that will let me go to grad school in Sept 2010 if I so choose...as in, if I had a year contract, it wouldn't interfere. And she emails me tonight with perhaps the greatest news ever, that a friend of hers may be able to get me a job.
granted, the contact info came in as a good 8 inches of gibberish, but thats entirely not the point. There's hope! there's a sliver lining in the perpetual cloud above my head!
So,I won't say much more, as I am supersticious enough to be afraid of jinxing it, but....here's hoping! crossed fingers, prayers, chi and lovely thoughts wafted my way are more than welcome! =]
*sigh* oh, it would be so nice to WORK again.... |
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| I would LIKE to say... |
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| 08:26pm 13/07/2009 |
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mood: hrm. music: "how do you solve a problem like maria" on bbca
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that I was very productive and efficient this weekend.
I was not.
I would LIKE to say I found a job and cleaned and did laundry.
I did not.
I DID however spend an exorbitant amount of time online looking up countries to move to that will give me a work permit, and poked around on LJ looking at communities, joining, and posting. I also nursed a week-long headache that migrates in and out of migraine-dom, but ugh. still there!
So I now feel incredibly knowledgeable about moving/studying/working abroad! I should start a website to bring all the info I have traversed all over the internetz for other people to access easily! *sigh* Granted, though, I must admit my knowledge is fairly limited, as I am not going to Thailand, or Russia anytime soon. Not that I don't want to, just...not in the plans.
So I want to move to Ireland. That much is evident by my last post. =] But I need to start applying, or, rather, enquiring about working over there. If nothing else, I know I can sign up for extra work. But as their film and TV industry isn't quite as large as ours, I'm sure the work will be sparser. So...How does one find out about jobs in film and tv over there? Luckily Capt. Nice on the community I joined and queried gave me a few inks, so I'l start there, but t'would be so much easier if I knew someone who knew someone, you know? Plus, my friend, from Peru, is interested in going with me, but for her to get a visa she would have to have a job lined up, I believe. So....yes. I just...I want to go. I might as well. Seems the chances of me finding work over there are about as good as here, lol. I think I need a break from the house, see if my roomie wants to leave with me, maybe foods....? |
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| So... =] |
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| 11:10pm 11/07/2009 |
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mood: looking forward music: hp&ss in the background-gearing up for hbp!
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I know I've been whiny about London. I've been whiny in general. I just spend most of my time trying to stay upbeat and "I'll get a job eventually!" that when I need to vent and shine, here I am! =]
BUT...I am not here to whine. Merely speculate, ask if anyone knows anyone/anything that might be of use, and...yes. =]
So, I come up with lots of ideas, and you may not know that, because I rarely ever post, but I do. And I think that's good. I don't fly off and do all of them, though I am a bit impulsive. But I know that about myself, and so any big decisions I make sure I research and think on it thoroughly before I act. Been in trouble for not doing that before. Though, to be honest, I believe things happen for a reason and it all works out how it is supposed to, in the end.
so, background info first. =] I have always wanted to go to England. To be honest, I have wanted to as long as I can remember, and most of it had to do with Shakespeare [even as a wee child]. I love him. =] And Europe, I've been there,I was born there, and I love the idea of living around so much history. But once I got older, despite my original love for England and London, I fell for Ireland. And I fell hard. Just the pictures alone, nevermind the history, were enough to ensnare me forever. I had to go, I had to experience it. so I have tried looking into any way I could think of for the past several years [and by several, I mean like 8 or 9] to find a way over. And not just to visit. Yes, that' nice, and if it's all you can manage, then ok, but I'm a firm believer in moving somewhere if you can to really soak it all up, culture, customs, people, history, environment, everything. I feel like the world is too big and our time here is too short to spend it all in one place.
So, fast forward to "of late." I have been frantically emailing my resume out to job postings here in Cali, whilst searching for jobs in the UK. Then someone mentioned the new BUNAC, and I learned I could intern in the UK for 6 months, which is paid, as they don't really do unpaid internships. Further investigation revealed that it just might not be a viable option. back to the BUNAC website, see where else I might work.
-INTERJECTION-
I have also been looking into teaching English in another country, most likely Japan, but as that's a year contract, it limits when I can go if I want to go to Grad school next September. =] I found a school in SW London, though outside the city a bit, called Kingston, and I like their Film Production Masters program, so I think I will most likely apply for next year.
-BACK-
So, there is also Work Australia, Work New Zealand, and Work Ireland. WHAT? Did you say Work Ireland? Yes, yes I did. And so I started looking into it. I joined a community on here, and posted an entry asking questions, like how to find jobs, what the economy is like, etc. etc. The replies I got first off were slightly saddening, as they basically [as Americans living in Ireland]told me not to bother, there were no jobs, I shouldn't romanticize it, etc. etc. So...at 2am, I called it quits for the day and went to sleep to the sounds fo "I Love Lucy." I awoke to a reply from someone else, who basically told me to stay positive, and as long as I wasn't married to the idea of Dublin [I wasn't, i just figured that would be where their film/tv industry would be, and I might as well try to get job experience], or weather or anything, that I could make it work. and really, I just want to LIVE. I want to travel while I'm relatively free of ties and restrictions. I want to see and experience the world, and I want to live in Ireland at least once in my life. =] The person who told me to stay positive also gave me links to studios to look at, and ideas for who else to contact and where, as well as gave me "a sign." I am not very superstitious, but when he mentioned I check with someone named Peggy from San Diego, that clinched it for me. Peggy is my Grandma's name, and my Grandma is the reason Ia m the way I am. She was just like me at my age, going to Japan to teach and to France to teach, and always traveling. She was the one who told me Study Abroad would be great for me, and she has passed,a nd every time I go anywhere that is not California, I carry her with me, literally [a small framed photo of her around my age] and figuratively.
So...I am to try and set off to Ireland sometime later this year/early next year.
Any advice or knowledge will be greatly accepted, while any negativity will be taken with a grain of salt.
*feeling hopeful again for the first time in a while* |
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| 07:43am 03/07/2009 |
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i am a flight about to take off, I am a script being written, i am a play upon the stage. |
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| so... |
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| 06:44am 08/06/2009 |
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mood: pensive as crap... music: 'a problem like maria' -bbca
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I have to move back to London. I say 'have to' because I really have no choice. I need to be there, I thrive there, I am happy there, I feel at home there. I like the people, the environment, the landscape, the buildings [old and new], the history, the smells, the green, the rain....I love it all. I need it all. I NEED it all.
So. How do I do it? I was born in Germany, but to American parents, and on a military base, so I'm not sure if I can get my dual-citizenship. I could have when I was younger but my dad never got the paperwork done. Also, I can go to grad school in London, but...that's expensive. and as a film grad major, I would have very little time to work. I mean, I know I would be ALLOWED to work 20 hours pw, but the school sites specifically state that you spend nearly every day of every week working on school and film projects. oh, but going to LFS would be AMAZING..... *sigh*
I have spent the majority of my life living in southern California, and feeling at home here, feeling like i didn't always fit the mold, but that i was, at heart, a California girl. Now i know differently. I'm a London girl. I always knew I was a bit more international than being simply a California girl, but really, I just don't feel at home here anymore, I don't even LIKE it here! ugh! it's so bizarre! I never expected this. I knew the moment I landed in London [err, rather, Gatwick, lol] that this was where I was supposed to be, this was home, there was a REASON that I have wanted to go to London since I knew it was a place to go. I just...I feel so heartbroken over living here instead of there. I feel SO HEARTBROKEN. I just want to find a way back home.I just want to live and work and make friends and make movies in London, in the UK.
London is so beautiful. The people are beautiful. the parks and country is so beautiful. Pub life is amazing! laid back people who have a great sense of humor and are fun to talk to! Dancing in clubs ther eis a completely new experience, a fun experience, as opposed to the clubs here, where if you have any sort of ass, it gets grabbed as though you were wearing a sign saying "yes, please do"
Oh...how will I get back home...??????????? |
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| frustra-ma-cation |
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| 08:46am 01/05/2009 |
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mood: there aren't words music: watching graham norton
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ugh. I'm beyond being at my wit's end. I don't know what to do. so here I am, typing into infinity, into the abyss of internets.
I can't find a job. I'm almost done with school, the last of my school loan money is almost gone, and I can't find a job. I moved to LA to be closer to jobs. and there aren't any I can get. I'm so freaked out I don't know what to do. I'm considering applying for grad school [abroad cuz its cheaper], and taking out loans to survive, but then i think about how much i will have to pay back, and if the economy is, oh my GOD, worse by then, what will I do???????
I'm so stressed. and one of the cats in the house has peed on almost everything I own/put in the living room, and he ruined a table that has been nearly flawless for 50+ years that came over from Japan with my Grandma, and I don't have the money to replace/fix these things!!! and I just blew up a little bit at my roommate over her cat, and it's not her fault, i just can't take any of it anymore, and i certainly can't afford any of it....I'm so stressed and the straws have already broken my back, and still they come. I don't know what to do, I cry and I stress and I look for jobs and apply for jobs and look at grad school and i'm just so freaking scared. all the time, I'm freaking out all the time. I have no idea what to do. none. what do i do???
I'm so depressed and scared and stressed and my roommates must think i'm nuts, but you know how your life is just falling apart and you handle it all until a shoelace breaks or something and then you just lose it?
I've just lost it. and I don't know how to get my sanity back. or how to fix everything. |
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| kaleidoscope surprise |
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| 11:24am 20/04/2009 |
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like a spotlight on my soul, i wore you on my sleeve
a cup of hot coffee spiked with just a couple codeine
needing you like my next fix proved distracting at best
withdrawals are a bitch, and i went on a lifetime fast
i gave up the juice, swapped it for Jameson straight
gotta go, gotta hurry, just can't be too late
my life started without me, and you left me in dust
rubbles and rubies, ruins of me forgotten in lust
all my dreams past, all my future present
everything in a tumbler, kaleidoscope surprise
like a block of cement, i've become hell bent
twisted and mis-shapen, becoming my own demise
but i have hope, in the face of my own cynicism i have hope
i retain my Disneyland eyes and Winnie-the-Pooh-wise
I will believe and know that it will be better
tomorrow
it will turn out ok, the way that it should
life can and will be all that it could
because tomorrow is another day
one that may bring me all I desire
if only I close my eyes. |
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| please vote for me!!! |
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| 11:06pm 20/02/2009 |
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mood:  bouncy
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Ok, so you may or may not have heard about the best job in the world.....well, believe it or not, I am up for it!!! so I am begging you to go to this link
http://www.islandreefjob.com/#/applicants/watch/eCrdB5GrcME
and vote for me/give me 5 stars!!! I really want this opportunity, and I really think I'd be great at it =] so please please please! and if you feel so compelled to send this link on to anyone else to ask for the help on my behalf, I would be beholden to you! =]
much love!!! thanks!!!!!!!!! |
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| i want to write more, but... |
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| 08:49am 30/01/2009 |
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mood:  artistic music: when harry met sally, lol
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i'm tired =/
I miss London. I miss Krystin, Lin, my bar and all it's contents and people [james, Gall, etc etc etc], Dan, Tony, the Thames, Westminster, Southbank, Kensington Park, the museums, the people, the smells and everything...even the fake sunshine!
*sigh*
I need to go back. how can I go back??? London feels like home, more than any other place has ever felt like home. after being there not very long,it felt as though I had returned home after a long long LONG journey. I just want to go back. |
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| My birthday, in summation |
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| 01:14am 03/01/2009 |
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mood:  content music: mj, just for Krystin!
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So...I am blessed to have made some amazing and great new friends tonight =] suckstobeyou and lindykins, both of whom are just amazingly awesome!
So...my birthday turned out pretty fabulous =] I went to my favorite bar, and just had a low key evening with those 2 kids and James and Gall and Dan....all in all, a good night! I like just having fun conversation and laughs....it was a really great night =]
anyhooooozle, i'm off to bed, which is not to say i'm off to sleep....just...pj's and bed, and perhaps look up some comedians Lin discussed with me tonight =]
/hugs
&
/mwahs |
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| who DOES that??? |
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| 01:31pm 31/12/2008 |
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Who decides to spend Christmas, New Years Eve, and her birthday in a country where she doesn't know many people? who seriously does that? ME, that's who. I'm such a dork, what was I thinking? I mean, ok, Christmas was alone, but thats as per usual, I'm not usually able to spend the actual day with family, and we just do it another day. and my birthday....fine. I mean, people usually forget anyhow, and I spend that day more or less alone, too. But New Years Eve, I'm usually at least at someone's house watching the ball drop and having a few drinks. general merriment, you know. but no. I'm in London. where I should be GOING OUT, say to a club or something. dancing, drinking, having a great time! I bought a dress and everything. but.....I have no one to hang out with. I have a friend from my study abroad program, but she's not getting back to me [big surprise there], and all my London friends...have plans or aren't getting back to me, as I'm sure they're too busy to be online and are out hanging out and doing stuff. but I've been sick. and cooped up in the place I'm staying. And I could go to a club, one of 2, for free, but I have no one to go with, and the only reason I could go is cuz I know the dj...but I can't exactly hang out with his as he'll be working.
I'm just complaining, cuz....I'm sad. this sucks. I just want to go out and have a good time, but I will be stuck at "home" by myself, trying to forget that it's NYE and I'm in London. one of the greatest cities to be in, and I'll be sitting on my bed, in my pj's, trying to find something to watch online or reading a book.
ugh. |
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| ze plane, ze plane! |
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| 01:19pm 22/11/2005 |
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mood:  sick music: country station at work
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Yes, Yvette is actually in a show. not a huge part, but she's oh-so-excited!
Scrooge the Musical, put on by the Temecula Valley Players
42051 Main St
Old Town Temecula
Dec 2, 3, 9, 10
@ 8pm
Dec 10, 11
@ 2pm
come see me!!! =] =] =]
tickets are $19, or $16 if you are a student |
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| 10:23pm 19/05/2005 |
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mood:  pensive music: U2
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wow...my life has...changed. I've changed. I've gone to so many places, figuratively and literally, in my life, esp. in the past...what....5 years. ever since gradu-ma-cating from high school, seems like my life was one huge fat rollercoaster, and now...now I'm in the cool suspension spot, right before the exciting drop in the biggest slope of the ride...I have no idea whats ahead of me, but for once, I'm ok. I'm actually HAPPY. go figure. how long has it been since I could honestly say that? I mean, there's some crappy stuff going on...my Gramma is dying. cancer. God, that just kills me...she has become so close that past few years...ever since Grampa died, oddly enough...we've become...friends. hung out. I love her so much, and can't imagine life without her. she keeps me from doing things I know I would regret later...like tattooing every inch of myself(man I want another one like a fat kid wants a candy store), or just being totally crazy...stuff that I don't REALLY wanna do, but I'm spontaneous, and when I get bored, I think "hey, wouldn't it be fun to...(fill in the blank with wild and/or crazy idea)" I detatch myself from all feelings associated to her being sick and dying, for the most part...but I have moments...where I just lose it. I almost had one at work today...one of those "the books are all over the floor and the shelf is broken so I'm going to cry about this instead of what really hurts..." moments. because, like physical pain is easier than emotional pain, it's easier to let myself release the emotion over something stupid instead of dealing with the real thing.
if I had a psychologist or something, they'd really ream me for that. Cuz it's bad. But it's how I deal. I get that from my mom.
who I, oddly enough, have a much better relationship with of late. she's great. she's better when we don't live together, but all the same, she's my mama, and the only one who will always love me no matter what, and who will always try to help me out, even if I've hurt her....
I'm beco ming old at an alarming rate. but in wierd ways. I'm seeing how I might be as a mom, and yet scared to go finish my degree. I want to get married and have kids and all that susie-homemaker crap, and yet I'm so scared of love and forever that it makes me stop breathing sometimes. I realize my mistakes in the past, and while I do not regret anything(why? it's useless as I am unable to change it), there ARE things I'm not proud of...but maybe that will coem in handy someday when I do have kids....I can say "hey, been there, done that, marketed the t-shirt...lemme tell you..."...but I will prolly get kids like myself who have to hit their heads (hard) against the wall a few 3 times before they get it for themselves.
I want to adopt. I've always wanted to adopt. but I want to give birth, too, at least once.
I miss kissing. I miss that first kiss when you like someone, and it's all nervous and flutterbees...I miss that kiss of someone familiar and safe and warm...I miss love. I want love. someday, I would like to be in love.
I'm still as addicted to chapstick as ever. can't be helped.
my hair has not been dyed in a year and 8 months. and I'm itching to dye it. but I kinda don't want to, too. I wanna just let it do it's own thing.
I wanna go to school. I wanna go to england. germany. greece. australia. IRELAND. and for extended periods of time.
I hope everyone out in lj land is good. happy. I love you all.
thus ends my rant. |
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| interesting explanation... |
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| 10:36am 15/02/2005 |
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A man went to a barbershop to have his hair cut and his beard trimmed. As the barber began to work, they began to have a good conversation. They talked about so many things and various subjects.
When they eventually touched on the subject of God, the barber said: "I don't believe that God exists."
"Why do you say that?" asked the customer.
"Well, you just have to go out in the street to realize that God doesn't exist. Tell me, if God exists, would there be so many sick people? Would there be abandoned children? If God existed, there would be neither suffering nor pain. I can't imagine a loving a God who would allow all of these things."
The customer thought for a moment, but didn't respond because he didn't want to start an argument. The barber finished his job and the customer left the shop.
Just after he left the barbershop, he saw a man in the street with long, stringy, dirty hair and an untrimmed beard. He looked dirty and unkempt.
The customer turned back and entered the barber shop again and he said to the barber: "You know what? Barbers do not exist."
"How can you say that?" asked the surprised barber. "I am here, and I am a barber. And I just worked on you!"
"No!" the customer exclaimed. "Barbers don't exist because if they did, there would be no people with dirty long hair and untrimmed beards, like that man outside."
"Ah, but barbers DO exist! What happens is, people do not come to me."
"Exactly!"- affirmed the customer. "That's the point! God, too, DOES exist! What happens, is, people don't go to Him and do not look for Him. That's why there's so much pain and suffering in the world." |
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| 10:21am 19/01/2005 |
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mood:  exhausted music: to the teeth - ani d.
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hey kids...i'm still alive. Working at B&N, going to church, bible study, hanging with friends, and trying to decide - or rather, decipher - the course of my life.... Very confusing stuff, that is =] Anyhow, just thought I'd post as I hven't been on in a hundred years =]
--vette |
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celiapunk's journal
tired